The Myth, the Fairy-tale, My Reality

I often struggle with painting, despite having a deep desire to do so. As I began working on this piece of artwork, I felt increasingly drawn to the myth of Medusa. This connection deepened after recent counseling sessions, where I was encouraged to reflect on my childhood and examine the roots of my self-esteem issues and feelings of inadequacy.

When I create art, I like to immerse myself fully, ensuring it resonates with me on a deeper level. For me, art isn’t just about making something visually appealing; it has to carry meaning and reflect my inner thoughts and emotions. When I engage with a piece, I aim to form a personal connection with it, allowing it to express aspects of my experiences and feelings. This process of connection and immersion makes my artwork more than just a creative outlet—it becomes a form of self-exploration and communication, a way to give shape to what might otherwise remain unspoken.

I recall creating good artwork as a child, but instead of feeling proud, I was embarrassed when my teachers showcased my drawings to other classes. Rather than feeling popular, I felt alienated, different from my peers, and hated every moment of it. I grew quieter, withdrawing more because, at this young age, fitting in mattered more than anything else. Yet, the teachers’ actions made me stand out in a way that only deepened my discomfort. It was during this time that I began devaluing myself to fit in.

Skin picking, for me, is deeply tied to my anxiety and habits of not wanting to stand out. It’s a physical manifestation of the fear of success and the vulnerability that comes with being beautiful. I don’t like being looked at—being stared at—yet it seems to invite both attention and scrutiny. This behaviour feels like a form of self-sabotage, a barrier that prevents me from reaching my full potential. My sensitivity to praise drives me to hide behind flaws, using picking and the resulting scarring as an excuse to avoid being seen, to not go out or socialize. This low self-esteem and being hypervigilant leaves me in an excessive state of alertness that is draining and counterproductive stopping me from creating more of the artwork I truly want to produce.

Disney

I’m not sure why, but Disney comes to mind, it was my favourite as a child. I spent alot of time watching the cartoon films, fascinated by the moving art. Growing up on Disney stories, characters were often protected from their beauty and potential only to be rescued and similarly, the myth of Medusa, who wasn’t saved but killed to become a trophy. They both symbolized how beauty and power could make someone a target rather than a victor, reinforcing the idea that being beautiful or successful leads to objectification rather than love. I think leaving with me, as a child, the feeling of being unseen is for the best.

Reflecting of Disney —and broader media— it has shaped my worldview, particularly in terms of beauty, worth, and personal challenges. Many of us are influenced by the narratives we grew up with, where characters’ transformations often symbolize growth and self-discovery. These stories can also contribute to unrealistic expectations, especially around beauty or the idea of being “rescued,” which may affect self-perception and self-worth. With the added influence of social media today, those challenges seem amplified for younger generations. Children now face a constant stream of curated, idealized images, which reinforce the same notions of success and beauty that were once portrayed in movies. The combination of these factors can create a cycle of unrealistic expectations and comparison.

Disney’s use of transformation serves both practical storytelling functions and delivers deeper messages about change, resilience, and becoming one’s best self.

Medusa

Medusa and Disney may seem like an unusual comparison, but they share some thematic similarities, particularly in the way their stories involve transformation, symbolism, and the idea of duality in character. Here are a few key connections:

1. Transformation & Curse
2. Beauty and Mostrosity
3. Vilainization of Female Power
4. Lessons & Morality

Both Medusa’s myth and Disney stories tap into themes of transformation, power, and the consequences of external appearances, making them surprisingly similar in terms of underlying messages.

I think this piece of art will become a profound exploration of myself. The myth of Medusa, often associated with transformation, fear, and perception, can serve as a powerful metaphor for the emotions and experiences. Medusa symbolises the complex feelings tied to self-perception, and the struggle for self-worth. By focusing on Medusa this piece will explore transformation, the power of the gaze (both how I see myself and how others see me), and the struggle to reclaim my narrative.

Where I can simply be,
Safe in the quiet,
Shielded from a world that demands too much.
Hide me from the world’s harsh glare,

Let me find solace in my quiet space.
In peace, let me drift without a care,
Where judgments and critiques can’t trace.
If you disturb my serene retreat, If you shatter the calm I’ve grown,
Turn to stone, cold and discreet—
For I seek only peace of my own.